Monday, 16 February 2009


As the title suggests I have busted my roll.For my own benefit I will give an explanation-something I hope will help me for the future.

Even though I have had more than a week of consecutive winning days,I have been feeling slightly depressed for the last few days.Winning at the poker table has not filled any vacuum in my miserable life.I must point out that I realised this a few days ago,before I actually busted.

So for the last couple of days playing poker as just been something to do.I haven't really pursued any of my interest in the las few years ,and partake in no hobbies or activities.Poker just fills up the hours.

I busted my roll playing $200plo.Playing at this limit,I loved the excitement,the risk of going bust,the adrenaline flowing -hands shaking,heart beating....waiting to see the next card drop.Did I win ........ did I lose. THIS IS SO MUCH FUN

.......but what is this fun a replacement for? This is the crux of the matter.

What good has come from this last episode then?

Well,I have learnt that I can play winning poker.The prerequisite for continued winning poker is a happy balanced life.This is where my effort and energies are more urgently needed.Frankly,playing winning poker is no longer my ambition in life.I have other ambitions to pursue.I better get started on them.

...the poker will continue by the way

1 Comment:

havin_a_laff said...

Don't beat yourself up. I am a nit - but I recognise the gambling thing that poker brings to the fore. It's weird - you know when you are doing it that its -EV behaviour!

Having insight is a prerequisite of making progress - and you seem to have it. I got myself into the same trap as you might be in - thinking its all or nothing - it's got to work or my life is sh*t. So you end up neglecting things that are actually more important - like relationships. I now realise poker is a journey like every other challenge we take on. No such thing as overnight success and all that.

I agree about life balance. You need to make sure other areas are under control before you invest too much mental energy in the pokers.

Sorry if that sounds too preachy.

Good luck.

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